Everyone keeps saying I've been really down lately. I dont eben know I'm doing it but I know why. I feel trapped. On one hand I dont want to jeapordise anything but on the other side I just want to go away and leave everything for awhile. Everythings getting too intense. The heat doesnt help, it could make you go mad.

I dont even want to think about how lovey dovey we were only a matter of weeks ago. It must be the fact that we are seeing each other too much. Hes only been back a week and we have seen each other 5 days out of 7. I should have gone out with Annie monday night instead of seeing Alex, that would have been the sensible thing to do but there you are! Well, am not seeing him tomorrow, I'll see how I feel then.

It maybe a wise idea to give up on going on holiday with Al for my birthday. I've been looking at flights and stuff but how are we going to get around when we get there? Neither of us can drive and I dont think his parents are going to be too pleased, he'll have only just turned 17. Could just go down the pub!