I havent updated in awhile. Quite a lots been happening. My place of work looks like its going for broke! So I may have to start looking for another job. The worst thing is not knowing whats going on. When I went into work on Friday Night we were definetly losing our jobs. Two hours later are jobs are saved. Im just hanging on in there and am resigned to my fate, whichever way it goes really. Customers are complainng left right and centre. I put the phone down on the ones that swear at me though because thats just taking it too far.

Mike has been made redundant as well and has asked our manager if he can move back to our store :0/ Blah and Bolox. Looks like he is moving back and the problems start again. Someone was telling me at work today how he was asking questions about my ex as he came in last week to speak to me. If he does move back I'm going to have to tell him. It would have been so much easier if all this just had'nt happened. Tonight, I was invited to go out with work people but this morning I just really could'nt face it.

Yesterday morning, I just woke up in a really hippy hoppy happy mood. I was in a good mood all day. I had a good time at work and afterwards playing monoply with my brother and then I just suddenly swithched. I dont know what started it but I felt so depressed I couldnt sleep. I had to have a bit of alcohol to relax me enough so I could fall asleep. That and watching It's A Wonderful Life eventually did the trick. This morning I felt the same and the old thoughts started again and I just could'nt face it. I went to work though and things got better.

Somehow, I'm finding work a lot easier now. I'm getting no hassle from Mike, no worries about himself walking in getting on really well with the manager now and.........

The new manager started on Monday. I feel like I've known him forever. I dont know why. We've only talked to each other a bit but every time we see each other we just grin at each other and I'm talking Cheshire Cat grin here! By the way hes a young manager, lol just thought I'd clear that up! He likes punk rock. Perfect. Oh Dear.

But what about Himself? Hes away at the moment with a friend. He tried to ring me the other day but I was at work. I dont know how I feel about him but I dont believe I can be in love. I thought I'd really miss him. I do but I feel kind of trapped. I feel like we need time apart but not like a break. I dont know what to do. I dont want to think about it.

I got a D in my Maths GCSE. I expected less. I only went to a few of the Maths lessons. I'm going to retake it next year with a friend at college.

My family have gone to the beach today while I was at work. Typical! I annoyed them this morning because I felt so bad. They thought I was angry at them. I tend to take it out on them. Sigh.

Why isn't the Internet working? Humph. I want to update. I hate writing in poxy notepad. I dont know when this will be up. Who knows?

~claire xx